Archive | March 2011

Why so negative?

Why are so many people negative about parenting?

There are many other people out there writing about the “realities” of parenting. Much of this is in response to the fairy tale images of parenting and families and aim to show what being a Mum is REALLY like.

I’ve found so many of these articles, websites and book are increasingly negative. They seem to show the worst of parenting rather than give a balanced view parenting. They don’t show the joys of parenting, the good times, the times when our kids make us proud or when they do something special for their Mum.

There’s no denying it, being a Mum is a tough job. There are some days when it would be great to give it all up and lie on a beach somewhere. But there are also great days. I remember one day when my son was about 2 at the time, and he picked a flower for me. He was so proud of himself and was chuffed when he handed it to me. It didn’t matter that it was one of those yellow flowers that grow on weeds in the grass or that there was no stem to put it in a vase, my son had picked it especially for me because I was his Mum.

There are some amazing moments as a Mum. There just seems to be either a negative view or the “Huggies” ad view of Mothering.

Recently I came across Sunny Mummy. This site has a positive view about being a Mum without it having the feel of a TV commercial. Most importantly, Stacey reminds us Mums to look after ourselves then we can look after everyone else. This is something that every Mum needs to remember.

What is a Super Mum?

Super Mum...

Super Mum...

There are so many articles around these days about “Super Mum”. It seems that, as Mums, we can’t win. We have to be Super Mum.

For me, being a Super Mum means doing it all, and being good at everything we need to do. If we don’t meet up to that standard, for some reason we are a Bad Mum. In general, we are not good enough. And that is where Mother Guilt comes in.

If we aren’t good at the housework, don’t have time or just don’t want to do it, and we get a cleaner, we are somehow a failure. If we can’t balance the budget every month and get help, we are somehow a failure. And it’s even more than that. We need to be able to sew patches on clothes, make lego creations suitable to be shown in a gallery and cook a gourmet, nutritional meal every night.

I am a single Mum, and doing it all is draining. There are some nights when we have sausages and veggies for dinner as they are quick, easy and the kids enjoy them. But the impression is this isn’t enough.

Being a Mum is tough, even if you have a partner to support you. The expectation, either real or imagined, to be Super Mum leaves so many Mums feeling low and depressed, and generally crappy about being a Mum.

Last Friday night, I heard a broadcast from Focus on the Family and there was a particular part that struck home. The broadcast was talking about home management and the speaker said there are 7 main areas to be managed, and no one is good at all of them, usually we are only good at a couple, and there are a couple we aren’t so good at, or, rather, we are really bad at. There is nothing wrong with asking for help for those areas we are bad at, or even outsourcing those areas.

This prompted me to start this blog and write this post. Lately I have been feeling the pressure to be Super Mum, and, to be honest, I’ve had enough. I don’t know what else I’m going to do with this blog, but for now I say:

Down With Super Mum.